After a long illness in 2011, Wilbur (Dad) passed away on October 22, 2011. He had been in and out of the hospital all year. The last admission was due to him falling and breaking his thigh bone (femur). It was decided that surgery was the only measure that made sense and after 2 hours, Dad came through with flying colors. We were sure he was going to make it. But the morning of the 22nd, Dad's electrolytes were off the charts, and he needed another pint of blood because he was still having bleeding issues. Because he was a DNR (do not resuscitate), all the doctor and nurses could do was make him comfortable. We couldn't get to the hospital fast enough and Dad passed away @ 10:20 a.m. I had gone to a TOPS local gathering, but once the doctor contacted me, I left to be by his side. David had taken Mom for a good breakfast before getting to the hospital. Again, they didn't make it in time. We were all saddened to know that Dad had none of his family by his side when he went to the "other side". We can only think that he was happy we were all with him the night before and that this was his way of making it easier on his family.
Nonetheless, after spending time with him, we left to get some lunch. His favorite eating place, Captain D's. It was decided at the hospital that we would bury Dad in his old military uniform. Only had to get a few things; shirt and tie. The rest of the uniform was at home.
Then I spent several days putting together a remembrance booklet of old and new pictures to give to all who came to the funeral. I wrote the eulogy as well. Everyone didn't think I could do it without crying, but with the support of God and Dad on each side of me, I got through it. Of course, being the comic that I can be, I was able to put in a few laughs to lighten the mood. The service was beautiful. A soldier played TAPS, and two Marines folded the flag and presented it to Mom. It was perfect!
Thanksgiving came and went. Christmas was coming. We had the family together on the 10th of December. Mom was lost without Dad at her side, but she muddled through it. She sat at the dining room table and each time a great-grand would come to the table to grab a snack, she would grab a hug and kiss. Christmas Day would have been hers and Dad's wedding anniversary. First time she had to celebrate Christmas without Dad. She was making the best of it. Watching TV with David and Lisa, but she wasn't her jovial self. It was obvious. We took a 8" x 10" picture of the family that was made at our Christmas gathering. She loved it! The next day, David and Lisa were married and she was guest of Honor. So glad she was able to be with them. Afterwards, they took her to lunch with them at Carrabba's. She wasn't in the Christmas mood this year, so she didn't even put up a Christmas tree.
New Year's Day came. She got through it. Even cooked the traditional dinner with Hoppin' Johns, collard greens, and pork chops. On the 16th of January, George and Patty called saying they were coming by to visit. She was looking forward to seeing them. She had called me to make sure they were on their way. She had been out gathering up pine cones and sticks out of the yard that morning. Then George and Patty arrived. She was happy to see them. They had been sitting in the living room talking with her for about an hour when suddenly she slumped to one side of her chair and started talking incoherently. Guess that's when it happened but we didn't know until after she arrived at the Trident Medical Center ER. Patty and George had called me to let me know they had called 9-1-1. So I knew that she would be arriving at the hospital, possibly before me. We got there at the same time. David, Patty and George were not far behind. The doctors did some tests and quick observations and learned she had a cerebral hemorrhage. Because she didn't have a living will, she was placed on a ventilator. But after all of us kids had a chance to be with her, we knew she wasn't going to come out of this. So later that night we had the ventilator removed. She lived another 11 1/2 hours. We stayed by her side throughout the night. The longest night I've ever lived. The next day was fairly long too. At 12:10 p.m. Mom finally went Home to be with her Lord, and Dad. As sad as we were to lose her so quickly and close behind Dad, we knew she was not happy. She was only going through the motions. She and Dad were married almost 63 years. And the last year, she had done everything for Dad but breathe for him. She was lonely and wanted to be with him. The doctors reassured us that there was nothing they could have done for her. There was NO way they could have seen this coming. She had been in perfect health and had just had a checkup.
Everything was good. There is nothing that can fix the Love of a broken heart. She had seen her last child married and happy. Her job was done here on Earth. Now she's back with her true love and partner in life. Mom had a brain like a computer. She knew everything. And she could do figures in her head like no machines we have today. So I have to say that her "computer" crashed that day on January 17, 2012.
She is missed---greatly! To lose two of the best parents in the world so closely has been so overwhelming. We thought we'd have more time with her since Dad had been so sick. She had earned some special treatment. But she always said she didn't want to leave us kids behind to take care of Dad. She thought he would be difficult and she didn't want us to deal with that. He could be cantankerous, but then he was 90. He had earned that too. They were fair to us but they made us mind. They dealt out discipline together. There was never any squabbles between them about how they disciplined us. We respected them and we showed them that respect in our actions and through our words. Never a "yeah" or "nah". It was "yes ma'am", "yes sir"; "thank you", "no thank you". "Please". Something that has slipped away from our society. Our children were raised the same way and we feel it's only right to make sure our grandchildren receive the same discipline. Whether it's followed up when they are not around us is not our concern, but they do it around us. We have fun with our grandchildren especially now that they can share their thoughts and feelings. The little ones are fun too, but love the older kids. They love spending time at our home. Adam (10) is already staking his claim to live in our house when we're gone. The boys love the fact that they have some freedom to run through the woods, or ride bikes on the road. We that they love it.
Anyway, we are now dealing with closing things down with the estates of our parents. That's been a tough row to hoe. Touching all of their belongings. They were so private (always) so seeing their clothes, etc. This is new to us. We never were allowed to go into their dresser drawers. Now we're having to deal with this stuff...and it's not only odd, but it's emotional. We know this is the finality of everything. It will take time to go through it all, and sign things over to whoever...but we'll get through it and then we can start remembering the good times. Right now, we barely have time to mourn our losses.
To end this, please take time to love and embrace those you love...be them family or friends.
Life is tricky...and you can be here one second and gone the next. So never ever take for granted that those you love will always be there. And when you can't give them a hug, be sure to always end your calls with "I love you". God has added two very special souls to His garden of Angels. Now we have to believe that they, along with Him, are looking down upon us and watching over us. That's a comforting feeling.
Love to you all. Come see us when you're in Summerville, SC. We'd love to see ya.
